More Than A Mom

More Than A Mom

Babies are boring.

They are cute, and cuddly, needy, and scream right when you manage to lay down for a nap, but for the first 3 months, they just kind of lay there.

Not all moms have this experience. If I’ve learned anything being a part of the Unicorn Moms Facebook group, it’s that every mom has a different experience. Some kids sleep, some kids don’t. Some kids eat everything and OH MY GOD WHAT? YOU WANT MORE FOOD? JESUS-- and some kids refuse macaroni and cheese. (I have to believe that it’s because they don’t know any better, because I have never once in my life turned down mac and cheese for ANYTHING.)

So, let me rephrase: my baby was boooooorrriiiinnnngggg. I decided to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom. Woah boy. I’m glad I did it, and I’m grateful that I had that option, but I almost went crazy in those first months with my lovely, sticky, cuddly, boring baby boy, Hank.

I was tired and cranky and basically a shut-in. My adult conversations were limited to with my husband and my mother in law, both wonderful people that were turning me homicidal. And then I remembered my mom.

My mom has crocheted my whole life. She made me and each of my siblings a beautiful afghan blanket as high school graduation gifts and would give crocheted goodies away like it was her job. And I realized: it kind of was her job. Yes, she was a stay-at-home-mom, but she also had, you know, interests. This, as a kid, was mind-blowing. I assumed as a kid that my parent’s interests were confined to me, my siblings and the latest parenting trends. (And if Unicorn Moms taught me a second thing it’s that that is a load of bullshit.)

My mom taught me how to crochet when I was 8. She attempted to teach my sisters and brother, too, but they were spectacularly uninterested. But I LOVED it. The 80-year-old woman inside of me was like YES, THIS IS MY DESTINY. I made 6000 truly ugly potholders, which my mom, bless her heart, still uses to this day. I graduated quickly to ugly scarves and ugly hats, and memorably, a REALLY ugly blanket that has never seen the light of day. But I was hooked (pun INTENDED). I would turn into a crochet factory every holiday season. My college roommates all sported Devon-original hats, scarves, bong cozies. I would crochet like crazy all though November and December and then put it all away until the next gift-giving season.

When I had Hank, I needed something. Anything. Something that felt like me. I was still 15 pounds overweight and spending every waking minute with a very tiny human who gave me no indication that he knew who I was. So I pulled out the crochet supplies and just started. It changed my life. I had something to do. Something for me. Something to remind me that I was more than a mom, a diaper changer, a wife. I was a person with interests and talent. I liked that I made something tangible. Something to hold and give and use and show myself (and everyone else) that I was still in there.

So here I am, my baby boy still sticky and needy and lovely and a whole lot less boring. He’s going to be 2 in May, and I’ve started a crochet business with my best friend, Micha (a fellow Unicorn Mom, no less). I taught her how to crochet when she was on maternity leave, and that is a good story for another day. But for now, I am just so thankful that I remembered something that felt good. They say crafting is the best therapy, and I have to agree. Crochet gave me back my sanity. It gave me something to do, and it reminded me that I am a person first. I’m a better mom because I do something for myself. And I’ve made Hank some kickass blankets and sweaters and hats he refuses to wear. It connected me to a larger community and brought me and my bestie together.

So go out and find what reminds you that you are an amazing woman under everything else. Mine was crochet. What’s yours?

Devon Handy is a Unicorn Mom of one, and crochets everyday, like the 80-year old woman that she is on the inside. She founded stitchesandwoes.com to help bring badass crocheters together.

Related Articles

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest.

All rights reserved. The Unicorn Moms logo is trademarked.